UK Unveils Plan to Export Marmite to France – France Surrenders to Strong Flavors!

The latest culinary attack sparks bitter backslashes!

In an unprecedented move that shocked palates across the Channel, the United Kingdom today declared its newest export strategy involves inundating French markets with Britain’s most polarising edible – Marmite.

French President can hardly contain his distaste during the press statement, declaring ‘This is an act of war on our taste buds!’ Political analysts suspect this bold move aims to settle age-old beefs, using yeasty spreads to do it.

Not to be taken lightly, groups of culinary purists in Paris have started street protests, waving baguettes as if they were swords and wearing cheese wheels as helmets, declaring ‘We shall not, we will not digest!’

This skirmish comes after years of brewing tensions where both nations have thrown shade over each other’s culinary tastes. ‘It’s a well-known fact that the French can’t handle the strong British flavour,’ stated British MP, known for his sharp taste in humour, Sir Chutney Worthington.

Observers all agree, whether they love it or hate it, Marmite is now stirring the pot in international relations, making this a sticky situation for the French to escape.